"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

just stuff
2001-11-20 - 6:42 a.m.

i did a purge. what's a purge you ask? a big ass cleaning. i packed up to full sized trash bags with cloth and various things i no longer want.

i cleaned my cd mess. i organized them, more or less. i realized that i need to buy another cd holder thing. i own something like 200 cds. just think at 15 bucks a pop that's 3 grand in little shiny disks that make noise when put into a special device. i'm civilized.

i just got back from the men's warehouse. i like rewards programs. nothing like getting 140 bucks of cloths for 40 bucks. i needed new shoes for work and found a sweater & shirt i might concievable wear some day.

i'm disappointed the door fairy didn't vist me today. i was looking forward to coming home and finding a new door on my hole. i was alittle confused when the super stopped, paused to catch her breath and told me that they were going to replace my front door. i felt bad listening to her. she's a very large lady and clearly not in good health. she told me not to worry, that she would be with the workers if they actually showed up. i did worry. she's a heart attack waiting to happen and i didn't think coming home to a dead body was a omen. so, i focused on getting a new door. no door, no dead body...so i guess i'm even on that.

i'm a bit callous huh? that's ok, i do more than enough mental chastising. i say i'm entitled to be callous sometimes.

i'm really not though. most things i think i'm actually oversensitive to things, but that's another story.

i'm glad at work. this guy in another office whose a dick couldn't hack handling this big ass project. it's hardish to explain, but basically our nyc office spec'd in a bunch of material for a huge project (that has nothing to do with 9-11) and because of that they thought they were entitled to write all the business. piss on that, i had people who did work for this project and i didn't get credit for my accounts doing work. i was told to stay out of it and this guy fucked things up and so now i get my accounts back and get to write the business. i guess the one good thing is that people are happy to talk to me again.

i have this neat knack for fucking things up, but not enough i cant fix them. i dunno why everyone thinks i'm so good at things. it's like i push the limit of what people will tolerate in the way of incompetince, but don't cross it. i think a big thing in my favor is i just say, 'i fucked that up' or when something goes right and they say 'whose better than?' i reply 'alot of people' and we both laugh.

i'm debating going to this concert tomorrow. i should found what time it's playing. i don't like the idea of going alone and sitting next to group of people who all know each other. it makes me feel odd. on the other hand maybe i'd get a seat in the middle of a group of women with loose morals, big bank accounts, libos in overdrive and no real standards to speak off...

hrm, the shows at 7:30...i dunno, i probably won't go...that's the good thing about fantasy thoughts. you don't actaully have to go and do anything to enjoy them.

oh, oh, oh! how could i forget? i fiddled with my pc this weekend. normally this results in my crashing the system and having to reinstall everything. i came close once. i rebooted after installing this program and a plain black screen was all that came up, well and a little curser blinking. i hate that site. i said 'oh shit, not again!' and turned the freaking thing off. it rebooted fine after that though. of course i went on to download more patches and update this and that then deleting here and there. i found a good firewall though. so far i like it alot better than zonealarm.

i should buy a zipdrive and back my stuff up.

i should stop spending money.

i should put some cloths on and get started on that laundry.