"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

land of confusion
2001-09-13 - 7:16 p.m.

i can't stand to see politicians on tv or the radio making pointless talks. last night i watched part of a 'gathering' that included the mayor, two senators, the governor and a whole host of other people i didn't recognize. i think the governor said it best. he said, not quite a quote..but close, 'i am delighted to be here with...' what the fuck is that? DELIGHTED? that was his exact word. how could anyone possibly be delighted to stand on a stage in such a situation? sure it's a simply delightful opportunity to get your picture taken and say 'inspirational' things...(please note the sarcasm).

anyway, i had to turn that off. i couldn't stand the mayor babbling about how gratful he was to this director or that director...pointless political ass kissing and mumbo-jumbo. i can't stand listening to flowery pointless speeches. i don't care much what the situation is, but to make them on tv with clearly an eye toward gain...well, that just truely annoys me.

perhaps i am to cold and callous. i don't know. i am how i am...to bad i don't really know how i am.

i just want to reach out and strip away so many things in my life. there's so much pointless bullshit i, you, everyone goes through and does every day because we think we have to.

i bought a suit today. i'm not sure exactly why, but i did. i don't like buying suits. you pay alot of money, but walk out with nothing. i have to go back in a week to pick it up. the one salesrep guy kept talking about the towers and what was going on and what he thought...i wanted to punch him. i did my best to ignore him, but he kept talking. i almost walked out several times. i'd bet he talked to everyone in the store that day about the same things. i felt bad for him. it was the only thing he could even attempt to banter about.

i just want to live in a much simpler time and place. the whole concept of what i do for a living is insane really. the idea that we need to work in order to make money that is nothing but paper with pretty green designs is absurd. somewhere in the dream of civilization we lost something very important...and that was a realistic point of view.

i stopped working in food service because people became irrate about the pancakes being a tad to runny or eggs a tad to solid...

Too many men, too many people

Making too many problems

And not much love to go round

Can't you see this is the land of confusion?