"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

what else is new?
2001-08-08 - 8:58 p.m.

i dunno what happened, but i lost the urge.

which i guess sums up my mood and thinking right now.

tomorrow is going to suck. we will be down 2 reps and this lady is coming in to 'help us with cold calls'...as if we cold call when we are at full strength. i think i'm going to be rude and tell her to piss off when she wants to see my 'call list'. she can listen to my calls all she wants, but i'm in no mood for to be lectured.

i was sorely tempted to get up today and whap steve in the head. i'm sitting there, all stressed and doing seven things at once. steve starts making joking comments about my head is going to explode. i get what he was trying to do, lighten my mood...but really, it just annoys me. i'm much better off when left alone. i get stressed, i deal, it passes and life goes on. i guess since i didn't bring him any problems, he thought they were all minor ones. they weren't. there just wasn't anything he could do to help, so i didn't tell him what was.

that was in the am. in the pm, the tables turned. steve was all stressed and i walked passed...i made some comment about how his head was going to explode and he just shot me a little 'death look'. that made me smile.

really though, i can't believe i'm still doing the same job. just shows how truly lazy i am.

i'm entertaining the though of when the new boss starts...to turn in my resignation on his first day. that would at least be..interesting. i wonder what the poor bastard would do...

i doubt i will though. it's just certain days that i'm miserable. most of them i are just passing the time. i'm good at that. i'm a drifter.

i remember not to long ago...well four years i guess. i was out to dinner with my family and my rents were talking about someone else's kid who was just a few years older than me. they were talking about how they felt bad for him because he didn't have a clue what he wanted to be or do...i didn't talk the whole converstation. i just sat there thinking, how fucking dumb are you? change the name and you're talking about me.

i guess i've already established my rents and i arn't on the same wavelength.

i like altoids. they taste good. i like to eat them and take a big ass swig of milk. milk tastes good with that curiously strong wintergreen mint taste...

i am the very image of disillusioned and dissatisfied, what else is new?